Characteristics of a Spiritually abusive church or group

Taken from Inside Destiny Church.

1. Exclusivism. Cults teach that only they have the truth and the correct path to salvation. Leaving the cult is equated with leaving God, and members really believe that leaving the cult means they can never be saved. How many times did I hear that idea propagated. V telling me that CIC was the only church apart from perhaps Destiny Church that had sufficent enough annointing for me to get truly free. PM from the pulpit propagating the idea that most other churches in New Zealand were full of dead wood, not going places

2. Fear, guilt and intimidation. Leadership is feared, and disagreeing with the leadership (or even just questioning it) is akin to disagreeing with God. The mini sermons each week on giving. I remeber one day BM getting up and going on about the widows mite and how it was such a sacrifice for the widows of the church to be giving, and how dare we do any less than them. Absolutley bugged the crap out of me like there were no other groups in the church that struggled to make their tithe but still did.

3. The third aspect is totalitarian control over the lifestyle and time of its members – this totalitarian control is necessary for the leaders to indoctrinate the followers in everything they do, and is also an attempt to separate them from anything not associated with the cult. I am not sure about this one. I know that I was supposed to have unquestioning obdience to people like J and C, however I wonder if it was never pushed to much with me maybe they sensed if they pushed it to much I'd end up telling them to stuff off. . Who was it, V, or someone who said about not giving S all the information at once.....Kind of creepy

4. The fourth aspect common to most cults is a charismatic, self-appointed leader with complete authority - Cult members are taught not to question the teachings, practices, or ideas of the leader. Many cult leaders are charismatic people, and are able to influence people to believe them. P & BM were the ultimate authority. I forget how C phrased it exactly but it was like that even if PM was in error, she would still follow him because it wasnt her place to question. Grr, I wish I could remember exactly how she put it.

5. The fifth aspect is a focus on withholding truth from non-members. Many cults teach their followers to be completely open and truthful within the group, while at the same time they are encouraged to be secretive and evasive when questioned by people outside of the group. The members are taught that outsiders wouldn't understand. Didnt ever really encounter this too much, however was very much on the outside

6. The final way in which a group is classed as a cult is if it presents itself as being Christian or compatible with Christianity, but has severe theological differences to normal Christianity. I dont know if the differences would make a difference to salvation, however there is the tithing issue, in that a memeber must be giving 10% of money, be involved in helping out at church, as well as giving offerings when needed. As well as that the whole idea that for a christian had to be under apostolic authority in order to be truly blessed.