Uncovering the darkness.

Dealing with the darkness starts with turning on the light. How to deal with this stuff in my life, its time to start turning on the light and looking into the corners. Have started working with J who comes with reccomendations from B. He seems like a good guy however I feel sad because I wont get to work with him for all that long due to moving south.

Sexual abuse is something incredibly shame based. No matter how logically my head tells me that what happened to me wasnt my fault, I think intrinsically what happened when I was a wee tott has programmed into me that I'm not worth anything more than being someones fuck toy. I guess in light of what happens with how neural pathways are laid down in children eg attachment this makes alot of sense. So I guess the question remains if this was a neural pathway laid down when I was a toddler, how does one combat it.